Mindfulness of Breathing – Journey 1 Week 6
The start of the week could have been better mainly due to a really fuzzy head from another cold. Again, the quality of meditation sessions varied a lot, with some where I was quite relaxed with deeper concentration, and others with weak and shallow focusing and general restlessness. There doesn’t seem to be a noticeable pattern to it and I can’t predict if I am going to have a good or bad session.
The awareness of my breathing seemed to widen and pull away from my nostrils in one session, and I became more aware of the whole breath with air going through my windpipe and into my lungs. The effect of this was that my breathing seemed to become more natural and relaxed, as I had let go of the slightly forced and unnatural breath in my nostrils.
However, a couple of sessions later, I had the strange sensation of feeling like a musical instrument. I noticed pressure on my windpipe, and vibrations started going up the centre of my body, like a vibrating string on a guitar. I wondered whether by watching my whole breath, I had inadvertently focused on it’s mid-point in the throat area, which is where one of the chakras is. Maybe that had triggered a surge of energy. Concentrating on the breath in my nostrils again seemed to bring me back to normal. Maybe at a later date when my concentration is better, I may try bringing the attention on to my throat as a test to see if the same thing happens again.
Another time whilst meditating, I had the impression that a tug-of-war was taking place between the need for my mind to chatter away and the need for silence. It felt like the attraction of silence was not strong enough yet and the chatter kept winning. I guess that’s what keeps happening at the moment in everyday life too.
By the end of the week, my concentration feels stronger, and it’s easier to stay with the breath for slightly longer periods. Every 6 breaths or so, I’ve started saying the word ‘now’ in my head as a reminder to stay in the present and not go off on thoughts about the past or future. This seems to have reduced the number of times I lose concentration.
Overall, I think my meditation has improved over the last week and am looking forward to the week ahead.